Best Man Speech

[leviticus]

This shit is hard. not sure where to even start. Have any of you guys had to do this?

[kv]

i have...say whats in your heart cover the familys and friends and make it light but touching and end it with something funny it's not that bad...only speech in your life that won't get you a letter grade or impact your job


make sure you intoduce yourself too lol...ya don't want aunt gladis wondering who the fuck you are

[Larry B.]

"I remember when we fucked a bunch of hookers and one of them said 'man, with that micropenis I think I'll be the last tramp that will ever fuck you'. And yet, here you are, with Melissa, beginning this journey..."

Take it from there.

[MYXYLPLYX]

Yeah, I did my duty last year... and it was rough.

I didn't actually write anything down, because that actually seemed harder than anything else. I spent a good deal of time thinking about things I wanted to say and then winged it when I had to actually get up in front of people.

I am NOT a fan of public speaking, but I found that just having gone over things in my head at great length made it easier then writing stuff down and reciting it.

I would second that the ending is important, figure that out and then your intro, then kinda play the middle by ear (everyone will love you if you keep it mercifully short, only women give points for longevity ).

Oh, and I would hazard against getting in to REALLY emotional territory unless you want to break down like a bitch in front of a crowd...

[JOEinPHX]

"This isn't his first marriage, there was a prostitute in Las Vegas... but we made a pact..."

[Jasper]

I did this on a boat once. I wasn't ready at all, and didn't know that I was suddenly going to be put on the spot. I told them about how my friend's socks never matched, until he met his wife. Then I made him pull up his pant legs to reveal matching socks. I said this was proof that it was a good union. Really, it was the only proof I could come up with. I thought it was a horrible union that was totally rushed into with very little thought. They separated for a pretty long period, but they're together now, with a kid. I told them that they must both love being miserable. Oh, and two days shy of their second wedding anniversary that boat we'd been on was on the news - it had capsized and there were multiple deaths.

Last summer I did the late-night champagne toast at another wedding, after I was somehow spontaneously elected by the crowd. I'd tell you what I said, but it was the longest, most disjointed, drunken, rambling bonfire-side toast you've ever heard, but it was, somehow, immensely successful and funny, with lots of crowd participation. People were telling me how great it was days later, but when I asked them if they could remember wtf I said, nobody really could. Roughly a year later, the parking area out front, road we'd been shooting fireworks from, sidewalk, and front yard of their house was devoured by the post-hurricane Vermont flooding, and their car was hanging halfway off a brand new cliff, before it was rescued by a backhoe.

So...don't ask me to speak at your wedding.

[Bandit72]

Yeh, I did it in 2002. There is a LOT of resource on the net. You get the usual "classic" gags, but if you look hard enough at speeches you can find some real gems that you can mould yourself. I had a few (several) drinks before I spoke and it was all good. At the end of the day, most people there are going to laugh at anything. Just get prepared then enjoy the day, it's a good thing to do.

[creep]

i was a best man only once and the guy's wife didn't like me because when they were dating everytime he got caught doing something wrong i would get the blame and so she thought of me as a very bad influence. it is true that we did get in to a lot of trouble together. anyway she didn't want me to give the speech because she was afraid that i would embarrass her. i was 100% fine with that. his brother gave the speech.

[SR]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

[Turncoat]

"Love is an empty promise. Today, you're young and in love. Tomorrow, you're clutching the cadaver of your lover."

[Hype]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

That's a good place to start. You could also say something, carefully, about how life is just like that... it doesn't intentionally discriminate against the virtuous, but we aren't agents with an infinite capacity to determine our future, sometimes it's just in the cards that we get a shorter time than we expect, and the trick is to leave the world better than it was when you started... I'm sure your friend did that, even if in a small but significant way...

As for best man speech, the best ones I've seen are the ones where you get a sense of the kind of person the groom is from the best man's personality (people resemble their family because they have to, they resemble their friends because they choose to...), and if you're not a naturally funny person, don't try too hard.

[Essence_Smith]

You guys fuckin suck...

Jokes aside I'm a pretty decent public speaker and I also support using some online resources to look for tips, as was stated earlier there is a wealth of info on this kinda thing...I'd personally suggest a short tasteful story about your friendship, humour is good but nothing over the top, as Hype said don't try too hard...outside of that, I dunno, I'm good at winging it, but if you need to write a few things down just use a phrase here or there to get you over...you should be fine though because you're at least putting some thought into it in advance, to me that's half of it right there...

[SR]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

That's a good place to start. You could also say something, carefully, about how life is just like that... it doesn't intentionally discriminate against the virtuous, but we aren't agents with an infinite capacity to determine our future, sometimes it's just in the cards that we get a shorter time than we expect, and the trick is to leave the world better than it was when you started... I'm sure your friend did that, even if in a small but significant way...

As for best man speech, the best ones I've seen are the ones where you get a sense of the kind of person the groom is from the best man's personality (people resemble their family because they have to, they resemble their friends because they choose to...), and if you're not a naturally funny person, don't try too hard.

Sound stuff, really. I had intended to concentrate on his more abstract qualitites as they might persevere through his children. I'm really not looking forward to it.

[Hype]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

That's a good place to start. You could also say something, carefully, about how life is just like that... it doesn't intentionally discriminate against the virtuous, but we aren't agents with an infinite capacity to determine our future, sometimes it's just in the cards that we get a shorter time than we expect, and the trick is to leave the world better than it was when you started... I'm sure your friend did that, even if in a small but significant way...

As for best man speech, the best ones I've seen are the ones where you get a sense of the kind of person the groom is from the best man's personality (people resemble their family because they have to, they resemble their friends because they choose to...), and if you're not a naturally funny person, don't try too hard.

Sound stuff, really. I had intended to concentrate on his more abstract qualitites as they might persevere through his children. I'm really not looking forward to it.

I like that, too. His causal role in the formation of his children's identity, and in edifying those around him, can never be destroyed, but will reverberate eternally.

"A free man thinks least of all of death. His wisdom is a meditation on life." (Spinoza... who else?)

[SR]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

That's a good place to start. You could also say something, carefully, about how life is just like that... it doesn't intentionally discriminate against the virtuous, but we aren't agents with an infinite capacity to determine our future, sometimes it's just in the cards that we get a shorter time than we expect, and the trick is to leave the world better than it was when you started... I'm sure your friend did that, even if in a small but significant way...

As for best man speech, the best ones I've seen are the ones where you get a sense of the kind of person the groom is from the best man's personality (people resemble their family because they have to, they resemble their friends because they choose to...), and if you're not a naturally funny person, don't try too hard.

Sound stuff, really. I had intended to concentrate on his more abstract qualitites as they might persevere through his children. I'm really not looking forward to it.

I like that, too. His causal role in the formation of his children's identity, and in edifying those around him, can never be destroyed, but will reverberate eternally.

"A free man thinks least of all of death. His wisdom is a meditation on life." (Spinoza... who else?)

Hmm, this little back and forth has helped to narrow my thinking on this. It will only serve to make it better, clearer. Thanks.

[Smokestack]

I've given two best man speeches. One was three years ago yesterday. The other was two weeks ago.

The first one was terrible. I wrote it all down. On paper, it killed. It was great. But when it came time to do give the speech, the mic was fucked up, I was hammered AND nervous. 300 people stareing at me. It sucked.

The one a couple weeks ago went much better. Dont' write anything down, it will just fuck you up.

So yeah, that's my advice. Don't write anything down, just have a basic outline in your head of what you want to say.

[SR]

Thanks Hype. I claimed a couple of your sentences almost word for word. They framed things well.

It went well. Thank you friend.

[kv]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

sorry for you loss and thats something i have never and prob never will do...when my dad died people wanted me to talk..not a chance i was gonna try and lose it....but i did have friends of mine come up and tell stories about us as kids with my dad and a person that worked with my dad that both made me laugh my ass off...and were the best parts of the day...so while i know it's not in me to do such a thing, it's a great thing you are gonna do it

[Hype]

Thanks Hype. I claimed a couple of your sentences almost word for word. They framed things well.

It went well. Thank you friend.

Glad to hear it.

[Hokahey]

I gave the best man speech at my brother's wedding 13-14 years ago when I was 18-19. I had taken some valium because I was nervous (of course I used to always find an excuse to take valium back then), and then in the limo van between the wedding and the reception I drank two bottles of champagne at the urging of my brother and the rest of the wedding party (they did too).

Needless to say, no one knew about the valium and mixing pills and alcohol is a potentially lethal combo. God I was an idiot. (was? )

I had nothing planned for the speech even before the valium and champagne. So I gave an incredibly drunken speech about how sweet my new sister in law was (or how "shweeet she was") to much applaus and cheering.

I dropped the microphone, walked straight to the bathroom and passed out face first on the tile.

I still have pictures of me with tiles marks on my face, holding myself up with a tree outside throwing up.

Real effing classy.

[SR]

Not to hi jack this thread, but I have to speak at a funeral this Saturday. Consistent with the thread author, I have no idea where to begin. My friend died at the gym..... . He never had even a drop of alcohol, no drugs, no cigs.....Very bright guy.....it's an inexplicable loss.

sorry for you loss and thats something i have never and prob never will do...when my dad died people wanted me to talk..not a chance i was gonna try and lose it....but i did have friends of mine come up and tell stories about us as kids with my dad and a person that worked with my dad that both made me laugh my ass off...and were the best parts of the day...so while i know it's not in me to do such a thing, it's a great thing you are gonna do it

I thought I was going to lose it too. I didn't thankfully. I was listed in the memorial card as the last speaker of 5. That made me more nervous, but once I got up there I was fine. I spent almost a decade teaching so speaking publically is not foreign to me. Where I run into problems is when I'm not a content expert in something or feel less than qualified to speak on something. No one is "qualified" on matters such as these, but I remain very comfortable that I paid adequate triibute to my friend.

And, I'm sure you could do it.

[SR]

I gave the best man speech at my brother's wedding 13-14 years ago when I was 18-19. I had taken some valium because I was nervous (of course I used to always find an excuse to take valium back then), and then in the limo van between the wedding and the reception I drank two bottles of champagne at the urging of my brother and the rest of the wedding party (they did too).

Needless to say, no one knew about the valium and mixing pills and alcohol is a potentially lethal combo. God I was an idiot. (was? )

I had nothing planned for the speech even before the valium and champagne. So I gave an incredibly drunken speech about how sweet my new sister in law was (or how "shweeet she was") to much applaus and cheering.

I dropped the microphone, walked straight to the bathroom and passed out face first on the tile.

I still have pictures of me with tiles marks on my face, holding myself up with a tree outside throwing up.

Real effing classy.

I almost took a valium and had intended to, but finally decided not to. Lawrence wouldn't have approved.

[SR]

Thanks Hype. I claimed a couple of your sentences almost word for word. They framed things well.

It went well. Thank you friend.

Glad to hear it.

and I quoted Baruch.

[Hype]

Thanks Hype. I claimed a couple of your sentences almost word for word. They framed things well.

It went well. Thank you friend.

Glad to hear it.

and I quoted Baruch.

Sub specie aeternitatis.

[SR]

A bit of edification. I needed it.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sub_specie_aeternitatis