What's your most fucked up family story?

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Hype
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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#21 Post by Hype » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:20 pm

I imagine Jews and Italians probably have the most fucked up stories on average... I guess it depends on what's meant by fucked up... but like... psychologically traumatizing in really subtle but deep ways? Yeah... probably them.

Without getting too into details (partly because I honestly don't know them that well), my family's backgrounds are two different religions, and my dad's dad was a Holocaust survivor... anyway, the fucked up part I guess is that I guess he wanted all his descendants to be Jewish (makes sense to me...) but my mom isn't Jewish and wouldn't convert, and I guess there was a whole big thing about this when I was born... Long story short, true to so many stereotypes, I didn't see my grandfather for like 20+ years, until just before he died. We used to visit my grandma "secretly" at the mall. :neutral:

Hilariously, and, I think mostly unrelatedly, I've ended up being something of an expert in medieval, Renaissance and early modern Jewish philosophy and history (everything from Maimonides and Gersonides to the Zohar and the German Jewish philosophers Mendelssohn and Maimon... and of course, Spinoza)... :confused:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#22 Post by Lokus » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:29 pm

My wife is Catholic (although she teaches at a Catholic elementary school, she is basically non-practising). I was baptized Protestant, but the day I was baptized was 1 of 2 times my parents brought me to church. I was raised without religion and I don't recognize my Protestantism...I consider myself agnostic and a Humanist (but not in any organized way).

Anyway, it's a big fuckin' deal to my mother-in-law that my wife and I have chosen not to baptize our daughther as Catholic. She raises it with my wife every once in a while, but never directly with me. She's old-school Polish Catholic and is mostly afraid of the pressure/grief her family will give her. I hope it doesn't turn in to anything bigger (my dauther is only 4 months old now) and some long-standing point of contention.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#23 Post by creep » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:43 pm

my moms father took off on the family when she was a kid. he had five daughters. he became a multi millionaire and then remarried. he never helped financially in any way with my grandmother having to raise five kids on her own. he never saw or talked to his children.

after they all became adults most of the girls had established some sort of a relationship with their father. he ended up dying and giving all his money to his two other kids that he had with his new wife. my mom didn't seem to care but i was pissed that he didn't leave any of his kids that he bailed on any money. he had enough to give them something.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#24 Post by esqfool » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:14 am

Damn creep, that is fucked up. A friend of a friend had something along the same lines happen. His dad gets real sick, is in hospice care, tells him oh by the way, I have a girlfriend and a whole other family in Kansas City. Dude ends up fucking pulling out somehow, and says cya guys, move to KC with his gf and his new "family".

Romeo, that's pretty fucked up your family would never mention that.

Oh and I forgot a good aside to my original story about my aunt accusing my parents of stealing money. As my grandfather was starting to decline in the mid 90's, my dad looked into their finances. Finds out that Stifel Nicolaus, investment firm based here in STL, has been running them around for commission and burning through all of their money. I didn't know this til later, but I had a college fund set up for me, they managed to burn through $88k and run it down to nothing. I don't know much other money they got though. My dad was going to sue them but at the time my grandfather was dying and my grandma didn't know if she could handle the stress of a lawsuit. So luckily I didn't end up owing very much to begin with ($20k), but it doubly pisses me off when I think back on my aunt pulling that shit with that twist added to the mix. As a funny note, both my uncles still invest their money with the guy my dad had my Grandma's money with.

And one more story while we're at it. My dad and his dad always fought. Well my dad got sick, had cancer, dies after 4 years of Stage 4 Liver Cancer. Before he died, he never told my grandfather b/c he was such a hateful person about stupid bullshit. He was the ultimate person to argue shit like "Would you have aborted baby Hitler?" and my responses were always who cares, that's not reality, and he'd shut up and my dad was very much the same way like why waste the time to argue hypothetical shit. He also disowned my dad for changing jobs a few times because "you're supposed to find a job and stick in it your whole life" and my dad was like well whatever, fuck off and wouldn't play into his bullshit. Anyway, he shows up to my dad's funeral, walks up to me, and says oh are you Kathy's (my mom) nephew? My other cousin is standing there, hears it, and his jaw about hits the floor. I just go no, I'm your grandson, and he looked like huh? This was after 3 hours of people walking through saying to me, oh you look just like your dad. I thought you stupid fuck you're so out of touch you don't even recognize your own son. Just to spite him, I never once called him grandfather or anything b/c he didn't show up to my parent's wedding, never called or gave me a single birthday present or anything, and matter of fact one time I turned at a corner and he was sitting at the light, looked right at me and I was like you don't even recognize your own grandson you fucking idiot.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#25 Post by esqfool » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:18 am

Six7Six7 wrote:That's not the most fucked up family story i have. It's just the funniest fucked up one.
I find that story funny as hell. I've had people pull that on friend's with the fake $10k winner, but to catch them stealing it makes it amazing. I'd still laugh about that everytime I think of it.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#26 Post by Hype » Sat Nov 14, 2015 8:01 am

Lokus wrote:My wife is Catholic (although she teaches at a Catholic elementary school, she is basically non-practising). I was baptized Protestant, but the day I was baptized was 1 of 2 times my parents brought me to church. I was raised without religion and I don't recognize my Protestantism...I consider myself agnostic and a Humanist (but not in any organized way).

Anyway, it's a big fuckin' deal to my mother-in-law that my wife and I have chosen not to baptize our daughther as Catholic. She raises it with my wife every once in a while, but never directly with me. She's old-school Polish Catholic and is mostly afraid of the pressure/grief her family will give her. I hope it doesn't turn in to anything bigger (my dauther is only 4 months old now) and some long-standing point of contention.
I could see that being tricky. I think as long as you and the wife are able to talk it out and stay on the same page, you'll be fine. Obviously it's harder on your wife since she's worried about her mom's crazy fear (Baptism is all about fear of death). It's not hard to understand, I think... but it is hard to figure out the right way to deal with it. If you give in, you're basically allowing a grandparent to parent and it may give leverage for her to try to control more things. But if you don't compromise on some things, you risk ruining the relationship entirely. This isn't necessarily the worst thing that could happen (because you can always try to reconcile), but it would only work if your wife is on fully on board. The kid'll be fine either way though. :rockon:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#27 Post by Lokus » Sat Nov 14, 2015 9:12 am

Oh, yeah, I'm all about compromise. I've said to my mother-in-law that I have no problem if she wants to take my daughter to chuch from time to time when she's older. But afterwards, I'm going to have an objective talk with my daughter (at an age appropriate level) about what she saw there. I also hope she has friends of other faiths that bring them to their place of worship (I actually did this when I was young, on my own initiative).

I absolutely want my daughter to understand that religion is a major force in the world. I just want her to look at it objectively and not indoctrinate her into any particular faith. Hopefully my mother-in-law sees the value in this and just doesn't, as you say, fear my daughter going to hell (she's a super paranoid person, this morning she is talking about cancelling her trip to Montreal this weekend because of the Paris attacks).

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#28 Post by kv » Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:47 am

I think I've mentioned before how I was raised, which I love. My moms side of families are full on church going catholic..my aunt a sister on the catholic church...my dad atheist...he was always respectful of my moms family though...i was baptized and he had a catholic wedding with my mom..and we'd do Easter and Xmas mass with the family...i didnt do my catechism sic? Or first communion on time though...i think maybe there was some push when my sister was born ..she was 4 years younger...so I had Sunday school and private studies with my aunt to catch up and did my first communion at maybe 12-13?

After that my mom told me it was my call..my choice if I wanted to study further she'd support/pay for..if not she'd not ask me to attend church with her (aside from the holiday stuff) well not once in my lifetime did I buy god...so I stopped immediately lol and true to her word she never bothered me again and let me live the life I choose...and if I had to do it all over I'd do it all again..i was after all enlightening ha! to see that side of life and to have a greater understanding of what was so important to so many in my family...and years later when my grandmother was dying of cancer...the excitement she had about leaving for heaven and on her way to old family made me appreciate what religion can do for people..it can be a beautiful thing...a crutch for the fear of death to some.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#29 Post by perkana » Sun Nov 15, 2015 4:53 pm

Hype wrote:
Lokus wrote:My wife is Catholic (although she teaches at a Catholic elementary school, she is basically non-practising). I was baptized Protestant, but the day I was baptized was 1 of 2 times my parents brought me to church. I was raised without religion and I don't recognize my Protestantism...I consider myself agnostic and a Humanist (but not in any organized way).

Anyway, it's a big fuckin' deal to my mother-in-law that my wife and I have chosen not to baptize our daughther as Catholic. She raises it with my wife every once in a while, but never directly with me. She's old-school Polish Catholic and is mostly afraid of the pressure/grief her family will give her. I hope it doesn't turn in to anything bigger (my dauther is only 4 months old now) and some long-standing point of contention.
I could see that being tricky. I think as long as you and the wife are able to talk it out and stay on the same page, you'll be fine. Obviously it's harder on your wife since she's worried about her mom's crazy fear (Baptism is all about fear of death). It's not hard to understand, I think... but it is hard to figure out the right way to deal with it. If you give in, you're basically allowing a grandparent to parent and it may give leverage for her to try to control more things. But if you don't compromise on some things, you risk ruining the relationship entirely. This isn't necessarily the worst thing that could happen (because you can always try to reconcile), but it would only work if your wife is on fully on board. The kid'll be fine either way though. :rockon:
My brother and I weren't baptized and my grandma on my dad's side tried to bully my parents. We lived far away from her so that helped. As Hipey said, as both you and your wife support this, you won't have any a problem in the long run.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#30 Post by Romeo » Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:33 am

Hype wrote:I imagine Jews and Italians probably have the most fucked up stories on average... I guess it depends on what's meant by fucked up... but like... psychologically traumatizing in really subtle but deep ways? Yeah... probably them.

Without getting too into details (partly because I honestly don't know them that well), my family's backgrounds are two different religions, and my dad's dad was a Holocaust survivor... anyway, the fucked up part I guess is that I guess he wanted all his descendants to be Jewish (makes sense to me...) but my mom isn't Jewish and wouldn't convert, and I guess there was a whole big thing about this when I was born... Long story short, true to so many stereotypes, I didn't see my grandfather for like 20+ years, until just before he died. We used to visit my grandma "secretly" at the mall. :neutral:

Hilariously, and, I think mostly unrelatedly, I've ended up being something of an expert in medieval, Renaissance and early modern Jewish philosophy and history (everything from Maimonides and Gersonides to the Zohar and the German Jewish philosophers Mendelssohn and Maimon... and of course, Spinoza)... :confused:
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa and when your an Italian Jew it's even more f'd up.

My Grandpa was born in Sicily as a Catholic, came to america at 17, eventually met my Grandma a American born Jew....aaaaaand converted to Judaism at 23 to marry her. CIRCUMCISED and all.....
:yikes:
Then never told his family back in Italy he was now a Jew. They all thought we were Catholic

That's a little f'd up. He lied to his Mother and Father (and Sister's and Brother)

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#31 Post by Hype » Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:23 am

Romeo wrote:
Hype wrote:I imagine Jews and Italians probably have the most fucked up stories on average... I guess it depends on what's meant by fucked up... but like... psychologically traumatizing in really subtle but deep ways? Yeah... probably them.

Without getting too into details (partly because I honestly don't know them that well), my family's backgrounds are two different religions, and my dad's dad was a Holocaust survivor... anyway, the fucked up part I guess is that I guess he wanted all his descendants to be Jewish (makes sense to me...) but my mom isn't Jewish and wouldn't convert, and I guess there was a whole big thing about this when I was born... Long story short, true to so many stereotypes, I didn't see my grandfather for like 20+ years, until just before he died. We used to visit my grandma "secretly" at the mall. :neutral:

Hilariously, and, I think mostly unrelatedly, I've ended up being something of an expert in medieval, Renaissance and early modern Jewish philosophy and history (everything from Maimonides and Gersonides to the Zohar and the German Jewish philosophers Mendelssohn and Maimon... and of course, Spinoza)... :confused:
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa and when your an Italian Jew it's even more f'd up.

My Grandpa was born in Sicily as a Catholic, came to america at 17, eventually met my Grandma a American born Jew....aaaaaand converted to Judaism at 23 to marry her. CIRCUMCISED and all.....
:yikes:
Then never told his family back in Italy he was now a Jew. They all thought we were Catholic

That's a little f'd up. He lied to his Mother and Father (and Sister's and Brother)
Holy shit, that's amazing. :lol:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#32 Post by Romeo » Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:17 am

When he passed away he wanted to be buried in the Jewish Cemetery (because he belonged to the Workmen's Circle which had a area of the cemetery)

They refused to bury him because they didn't believe he was a Jew. Sooooooooooo my Mother had to take their Ketubah which was all in Hebrew to the Rabbi. And on Temple stationary he wrote that in 1922 no Rabbi would have married Anna and Andrew unless both parties were of the faith. So in his opinion he did convert to Judaism.
THEN they allowed his burial. I was in the 5th grade when he passed away. But had I been an adult (and with my smart mouth) I would have said "you have the body, check the penis. No man born in Italy in 1898 would be circumcised!"



But the plots are stuck in the back. Literally near the fence. Because with a last name ending in a vowel they don't put you up front. Bad for business :lol:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#33 Post by Hype » Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:23 am

Romeo wrote:When he passed away he wanted to be buried in the Jewish Cemetery (because he belonged to the Workmen's Circle which had a area of the cemetery)

They refused to bury him because they didn't believe he was a Jew. Sooooooooooo my Mother had to take their Ketubah which was all in Hebrew to the Rabbi. And on Temple stationary he wrote that in 1922 no Rabbi would have married Anna and Andrew unless both parties were of the faith. So in his opinion he did convert to Judaism.
THEN they allowed his burial. I was in the 5th grade when he passed away. But had I been an adult (and with my smart mouth) I would have said "you have the body, check the penis. No man born in Italy in 1898 would be circumcised!"



But the plots are stuck in the back. Literally near the fence. Because with a last name ending in a vowel they don't put you up front. Bad for business :lol:
I have no idea what's going to happen with my parents (or me, for that matter) as far as funerals are concerned... What do people do when their non-religious family dies and they themselves aren't religious and so can't lie about it? :confused:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#34 Post by kv » Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:38 am

cremation! hold a service for people to mourn and move the fuck on...my dads ashes are in his gun safe :lolol:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#35 Post by Hype » Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:33 am

Makes sense. I was thinking it'd be funny to go the Jeremy Bentham route.

Image
Bentham died on 6 June 1832 aged 84 at his residence in Queen Square Place in Westminster, London. He had continued to write up to a month before his death, and had made careful preparations for the dissection of his body after death and its preservation as an auto-icon. As early as 1769, when Bentham was 21 years old, he made a will leaving his body for dissection to a family friend, the physician and chemist George Fordyce, whose daughter, Maria Sophia (1765–1858), married Jeremy's brother Samuel Bentham.[22] A paper written in 1830, instructing Thomas Southwood Smith to create the auto-icon, was attached to his last will, dated 30 May 1832.[22]

On 8 June 1832, two days after his death, invitations were distributed to a select group of friends, and on the following day at 3 p.m., Southwood Smith delivered a lengthy oration over Bentham's remains in the Webb Street School of Anatomy & Medicine in Southwark, London. The printed oration contains a frontispiece with an engraving of Bentham's body partly covered by a sheet.[22]

Afterward, the skeleton and head were preserved and stored in a wooden cabinet called the "Auto-icon", with the skeleton padded out with hay and dressed in Bentham's clothes. Originally kept by his disciple Thomas Southwood Smith,[23] it was acquired by University College London in 1850. It is normally kept on public display at the end of the South Cloisters in the main building of the college; however, for the 100th and 150th anniversaries of the college, and in 2013,[24] it was brought to the meeting of the College Council, where it was listed as "present but not voting".[25]

Bentham had intended the Auto-icon to incorporate his actual head, mummified to resemble its appearance in life. However, Southwood Smith's experimental efforts at mummification, based on practices of the indigenous people of New Zealand and involving placing the head under an air pump over sulphuric acid and simply drawing off the fluids, although technically successful, left the head looking distastefully macabre, with dried and darkened skin stretched tautly over the skull.[22] The Auto-icon was therefore given a wax head, fitted with some of Bentham's own hair. The real head was displayed in the same case as the Auto-icon for many years, but became the target of repeated student pranks. It is now locked away securely.[26]

A 360-degree rotatable, high-resolution 'Virtual Auto-Icon' is available at the UCL Bentham Project's website.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#36 Post by kv » Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:21 pm

lol i've seen you post that exact thought before...we do know everything about each other at this point...its all just reruns

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#37 Post by Everybody's Friend » Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:21 pm

kv wrote:lol i've seen you post that exact thought before...we do know everything about each other at this point...its all just reruns
:nod:

Cue Simpson's clip ...

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#38 Post by Romeo » Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:44 pm

kv wrote:cremation! hold a service for people to mourn and move the fuck on...my dads ashes are in his gun safe :lolol:
:nod:

Not only that but then after the memorial service you can go to your own after party.
You're portable!

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#39 Post by Hype » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:27 am

kv wrote:lol i've seen you post that exact thought before...we do know everything about each other at this point...its all just reruns
True, but it's like when Jane's Addiction plays Mountain Song... not for the 50 year olds in the audience who have heard every bootleg version of it, but for that one kid whose parents dragged him to the show out of misguided nostalgia. At this point we're all Jane's Addiction message board nostalgia acts.

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#40 Post by kv » Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:16 pm

thats why we had to get your name back to hype...the kids all wanna see the original lineup :lolol:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#41 Post by Romeo » Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:19 pm

kv wrote:thats why we had to get your name back to hype...the kids all wanna see the original lineup :lolol:
:lol: :lol:

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#42 Post by perkana » Fri Nov 20, 2015 9:40 am

kv wrote:cremation! hold a service for people to mourn and move the fuck on...my dads ashes are in his gun safe :lolol:
I plan on getting cremated and no mourning. Just going on a trip to one of my favorite places (I'm still thinking about it, could be the ocean or my folks' backyard where my dogs are buried).

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#43 Post by kv » Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:03 am

ya know with my dad i figured just cremation and have people back to the house but we decided on the service at the mortuary so if my mom needed to go home she could and it was chill as fuck...a bunch of people got up and told funny stories then we all stood around and had a snack and bullshitted...something i didn't want to do but everyone involved was the better for it...and that's the most important thing have to let everyone else come to terms and start to heal...it's not about the dead person anymore...changed my view on it

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Re: What's your most fucked up family story?

#44 Post by perkana » Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:58 pm

Yup. We do the same in my family. Get together and tell stories about the dead person. It helps more than mourning by yourself in my own particular case. I remember when we did that after my grandma (dad's mom) died. We agreed that she would have hated us having a reunion at her place. She was the kind of person who was ok with going to other people's houses, but she hated visitors, family in particular. We had a good laugh about it :lol:

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