What's annoying you today?

[S&M]

I'll tell ya what'z pissing me off...Getting strep and taking my med'z..then getting everyone to take theirs.....And finding out you got it again....Fuck!!!...I scrubbed my house...bleached everything but the dog....he'z gonna take fish amoxicillin tomorrow I'm sick of fucking with it....there is a nasty version of strep out there now...wash yer hands kiddo'z...this ain't no joke...and not treating it can led
to heart problems so be on this one.....I'm so pissed...all my friends are infected...weird strain kinda scary....wash yer hand'z it'z coming yer way...fer fuckz sake,.."uhggggggg :cona:

[Larry B.]

OK, I really don't like whining about personal problems but the last month has been a piece of work.

Goddamn, a piece of work indeed.

As Chaos said, take care man... Your father-in-law could well be an example the universe is showing you, as in "would you like to end up like this?"

Take care... and best wishes

[Pandemonium]

Well, one day later, another chapter.

My wife and I were called early this morning by the Mom-in-law's caregiver that when she arrived at the house to start the day, she was unable to wake mom although she was breathing and had a pulse and mumbling somewhat. She called paramedics and found she had tried to commit suicide by OD'ing on more drugs she had stashed that I didn't find when I did the sweep before I left. She also left a note talking about depression over her husband's condition, her chronic back issues and being a burden to her family. She's now at the same hospital her husband was at in the same ICU on a ventilator being cared for by some of the same staff she was so nasty to when they were treating her husband.

Now everyone is scrambling to get there and manage this crisis.

[Artemis]

Wow you are going through some heavy shit with your in-laws. I wish you strength and patience to get through this time.
I had to make some difficult decisions for my mother a few years back, so I know what you are going through is difficult. Thankfully, my parents had their wills and powers of attorney all in order which made things easier.

[Juana]

OK, I really don't like whining about personal problems but the last month has been a piece of work.

Man sorry to hear all this, hope it works out for you

[chaos]

OK, I really don't like whining about personal problems but the last month has been a piece of work.

I am so sorry to hear how things have cascaded.

[Larry B.]

Shit, man. May the universe give you and your wife strenght and clarity of mind to deal with this. As Artemis said, sometimes you just gotta make difficult decisions.

And also, my very humble suggestion... protect yourselves. Your direct family. Always.

[Artemis]

I think I may have to pull the plug on my fridge. For the last few days it sounds like a 10hp Johnson outboard motor. Not continuously but for long periods of time.
It's about 10 years old.

[Kajicat]

I think I may have to pull the plug on my fridge. For the last few days it sounds like a 10hp Johnson outboard motor. Not continuously but for long periods of time.
It's about 10 years old.

The fact that you know what a 10 horse power outboard Johnson motor sounds like is just snakes and snails and puppy dog tails to me

[Turncoat]

having to bum rides from family to get to a court date...

...really kinda makes you think... "Am I really trying to stay out of prison to maintain the persistent joylessness and aggravation of my normal life?"

[Artemis]

I think I may have to pull the plug on my fridge. For the last few days it sounds like a 10hp Johnson outboard motor. Not continuously but for long periods of time.
It's about 10 years old.

The fact that you know what a 10 horse power outboard Johnson motor sounds like is just snakes and snails and puppy dog tails to me

The nosie my fridge is making sounds really close to that!

Anyway, I'm quite familiar with the Johnson. I've handled one or two over the years.

[Artemis]

having to bum rides from family to get to a court date...

...really kinda makes you think... "Am I really trying to stay out of prison to maintain the persistent joylessness and aggravation of my normal life?"

What are you talking about?? Is this from that incident with your mother? Is there really potential prison time for that?

If it is the incident with your mom, you could ask her for a lift since she'd be going to the same place.

[Larry B.]

Anyway, I'm quite familiar with the Johnson. I've handled one or two over the years.

Oh, you naughty girl...

[Turncoat]

What are you talking about?? Is this from that incident with your mother? Is there really potential prison time for that? If it is the incident with your mom, you could ask her for a lift since she'd be going to the same place.

Briefly... what else would it be? It's a felony assault charge, so yes... it's serious. No, I can't, because of the court ordered restraining order... but if I can, I plan to never speak to her again anyway.

...Today, it's reading up on schizophrenia and noticing that my shrink prescribed one of the drugs used to treat it. I didn't notice that until now... and that was what she wrote out right before telling me that she's moving and I'll be on my own again, soon... eek.

...and I had Go Lean Crunch with 1%, today. Suffice to say, I wasn't pleased.

[Artemis]

What are you talking about?? Is this from that incident with your mother? Is there really potential prison time for that? If it is the incident with your mom, you could ask her for a lift since she'd be going to the same place.

Briefly... what else would it be? It's a felony assault charge, so yes... it's serious. No, I can't, because of the court ordered restraining order... but if I can, I plan to never speak to her again anyway.

...Today, it's reading up on schizophrenia and noticing that my shrink prescribed one of the drugs used to treat it. I didn't notice that until now... and that was what she wrote out right before telling me that she's moving and I'll be on my own again, soon... eek.

...and I had Go Lean Crunch with 1%, today. Suffice to say, I wasn't pleased.

I guess I'm confused. How does a restraining order work if you live with her in her house??

You don't have to answer, I'm just trying to keep things straight.

[Turncoat]

I guess I'm confused. How does a restraining order work if you live with her in her house??
You don't have to answer, I'm just trying to keep things straight.

I haven't been home since I got arrested.

[Pandemonium]

An update to my family's drama......

Long story short, the brother is in town with his mom and dad who are in separate hospitals taking care of business. The father is making big progress getting up and walking around and his faculties are getting clearer. The family decided for his health, at least short term that he's told that his wife is "sick and in another hospital" due to some malady which is why she hasn't come by to see him the past few days. He's gonna have to know the truth sooner or later as two of his wife's friends already know and these old women are like a sewing circle and this shit's gonna get out.

As for mom-in-law, she still mostly unconscious in ICU on a ventilator. It doesn't look like she did any permanent damage but she's not coming out of it as fast as she should, probably due to her age. Perhaps astonishingly, she tried to kill herself overdosing on only about 20 Tylenol. The thing is, large doses of Acetaminophen especially with someone old who has been taking regular doses of prescription Vic den, etc can easily ruin the liver and kill a person.

So what we're looking at as the father-in-law recovers is doing a AirMedical flight to move him here in SoCal to a Acute Care Physical Rehab Hospital close to my wife and I so he has someone nearby on a daily basis 'til he's recovered enough to go home. As for the mother-in-law, I don't know who that's going to pan out yet. My wife, her sister and probably the brother will return to Tucson this coming weekend to work out a long term plan over Thanksgiving week while I stay home with our son.

BTW, thanks to those that posted positive thoughts in this thread. As I've told various members of the family, at some point things will resolve and it will get better.

[Artemis]

Sounds like things are heading in a postive direction. It's good the family is working to put a long-term plan in place. That way everybody knows their role and responsibility.

[Artemis]

I guess I'm confused. How does a restraining order work if you live with her in her house??
You don't have to answer, I'm just trying to keep things straight.

I haven't been home since I got arrested.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you were still in the house.

Well, I hope things go well in court. I am sure since you do not have a record(I'm assuming you don't) you won't get a prison sentence.

[Larry B.]

Sounds like things are heading in a postive direction. It's good the family is working to put a long-term plan in place. That way everybody knows their role and responsibility.

Glad those little steps are being taken and people take responsibilities

[creep]

I guess I'm confused. How does a restraining order work if you live with her in her house??
You don't have to answer, I'm just trying to keep things straight.

I haven't been home since I got arrested.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you were still in the house.

Well, I hope things go well in court. I am sure since you do not have a record(I'm assuming you don't) you won't get a prison sentence.

it will get dropped down to a misdemeanor i'm sure unless you didn't tell the whole story.

[chaos]

Sounds like things are heading in a postive direction. It's good the family is working to put a long-term plan in place. That way everybody knows their role and responsibility.

Glad those little steps are being taken and people take responsibilities

It's hard with elderly relatives. At least everyone can catch their breath now. Next week, when your family's heads are a little clearer, they'll come up with a reasonable plan.

[crater]

One second my Youtube subscription page looked fine and now it looks like this



Fucking thing sucks

[Turncoat]

Court was easy... no problems... unfortunately, a court date for my assault charge was the only un-terrible thing in quite some time.
I'm gonna try not to hijack this thread... but I have nowhere else to vent. I cannot keep living like this. Things just keep getting worse. My life is actually worse than it was when I was unemployed, living in my mom's condemnable house, with no future, no confidence, no friends, and no life. I look back on those days and miss them because I had something to live for... albeit insignificant to normal people. I had something. Comfort. I was comfortable in squalor... but I was content.

Now I'm never happy. My life is joyless. It's persistent fear, frustration, depression, alienation, isolation, and sincerely believing that nobody cares to understand me, because nobody does. Understanding me is a waste. It's a topic not deserving of research. Any time spent knowing me is time wasted and everyone realizes it at some point. When they do, they make the appropriate decision and sever their relationship with me. Given the choice to erase me from existence or share eternity with me, every single person I've ever met would choose the former. I can't blame them. They're absolutely right to do so... but I don't have that luxury.

I can't simply walk away. I'm stuck with me all day, every day. I have no choice. I'm condemned to a life sentence with the one person I hate more than anything. Things have gotten immeasurably worse since the last time I contemplated suicide and I can only imagine this will continue. My life has steadily disintegrated and frayed at the edges, for the past 12 years. Not a moment has passed when I'm not fully aware of who I am, what I've been through, what I'm worth, and where I'm going... nobody, nothing worth while, nothing, and nowhere. In order to have confidence, I need denial... but I can't hide from the truth.

I can say with absolute certainty that my life is meaningless and my sole purpose seems to be making others suffer. I'm not special. I'm not even worth the air I breathe. I've moved past the foolish, youthful arrogance of dreaming of a purposeful future. Unfortunately, I've also lost hope of even living an adequate life. I'm emotionally incapable of happiness. I cannot succeed because of who I am. It's who I am. Being who I am prevents me from ever getting along with anyone. I know this because I hate people like me. I hate them, just as everyone else does. I tried so hard for so long not to be like them, but it's what I am.

With every passing moment, I only further tarnish my legacy. Had I died in the bike accident, as a 10 year old, I could have been an example. I would have died a happy child, blissfully oblivious to the fruitless life fate had in store for me. I would only be remembered as a happy boy... a class clown... a charming flirt. I would have lived a worthwhile life.

I would gladly sacrifice everything I've learned and experienced to spare myself what I've been through. I can say, without hesitation, that what little I've benefited from my 25 years have been unquestionably eradicated by every second between those fleeting moments. The price of what little I've enjoyed has been too much to justify. Every day that I continue my life is another day further removed from any possibility of a real life. Things cannot "get better". It's an absolute impossibility. The worst case scenarios have been too consistently validated. My best case scenario is still too awful to bear.

So many people take for granted the basic ability to experience pleasure... to appreciate the little things... to know that somebody somewhere loves them... that tomorrow is another day filled with possibilities... to love somebody... to trust people... to believe in yourself... all the little unappreciated blessings of a normal life. I can't imagine failing at anything with such invaluable tools... however, I know all too well how easy it is to collapse without them.

I once wrote a song with the satirically bleak lyrics, "Every day is more painful than the last", because it was funny to me at the time. It's no longer funny. It's reality. Every morning holds only the probability of further problems with no possible resolution. Every day is just the continuing plunge. I appreciate a good plateau. It's my version of success... just a little while to enjoy, before things get worse. I miss plateaus, but I can't rationalize voluntarily continuing to decline simply for the faint possibility of a break before the next drop. Can anybody really think of any reason why I should keep doing this? That's rhetorical. I'm not looking for replies or a thread drift. I just needed to get it out and I literally have nobody to talk to.

[kv]

dude stop turning to a message board for help call
call a suicide hotline they are trained, trying to get help on a jane's addiction board is like calling the pizza guy to put out a house fire...not trained we don't know how to help you bro ask the right people