Facebook parenting: for the troubled teen

[Larry B.]

Opinions?

[kv]

amen

[chaos]

His kid sounds like a brat and he should take away her toys, but I think he goes a little overboard when he shoots her laptop. He seems truly hurt by what his daughter has written, but he needs to be the adult here and that includes control. He doesn't lose it (much), but he seems a little immature himself. It may be because he is hurt and doesn't really know where his daughter's anger is coming from. She sounds spoiled, but he created the monster. I don't know what I would do with a disrespectful teenager so I really shouldn't be criticizing him. At least he didn't go ballistic. My father is the ballistic type so fear pretty much kept us in line.

[JOEinPHX]

That's a good dad right there. Kids today are spoiled.

[Hype]

Not adult behaviour.

[Hokahey]

Not adult behaviour.

This.

Take away her laptop. Ground her. Be a strict parent. But act like an adult.

[SR]

This guy is a douche.

[Larry B.]

Not adult behaviour.

This.

Take away her laptop. Ground her. Be a strict parent. But act like an adult.

Agree.

One question, though... gunshots aside, what is your opinion of the whole 'recording this video exposing her and posting it to the Internet' thing? Can that qualify as adult behavior, in today's hyper-connected-world-context? Say the guy does decide to take away her laptop and ground her, but also to expose her in a similar video. What'd you think about that?

[Hype]

It misunderstands the purpose of discipline.

(I think it would be really funny to suggest an idiot like that from Texas (? or ... wherever) should read Emile... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emile:_or,_On_Education )

[Hokahey]

Not adult behaviour.

This.

Take away her laptop. Ground her. Be a strict parent. But act like an adult.

Agree.

One question, though... gunshots aside, what is your opinion of the whole 'recording this video exposing her and posting it to the Internet' thing? Can that qualify as adult behavior, in today's hyper-connected-world-context? Say the guy does decide to take away her laptop and ground her, but also to expose her in a similar video. What'd you think about that?

I think he's putting himself on her level, thus teaching her nothing. He's doing exactly what she did when she was upset because he's upset. Like daughter like father.

If your discipline is consistent and swift there is no need to make it loud and on display. Humiliating someone accomplishes nothing except built up resentment.

When my child is bad in the store I could put on a scene for everyone and embarass him in front of anyone, or I could do what I actually do: assure him that when we get home he will receive a time out. At first he thought life was grand because the punishment was delayed and I was sure to forget. But sure as shit, when we got home, I calmly took him to his room and put him in time out. He was stunned. Repeat a couple more times and now it only takes a glare from me and the dude gets right in line. He knows dad doesnt fuck around. If he misbehaves, he will get disciplined. I dont let him get away with it, and I dont threaten and not follow through. Discipline will happen. It won't be loud. I wont embarass him. But when we get home, it will happen.

There's a reason this guy's daughter is a spoiled brat. He sucks as a parent.

[Larry B.]

[Hype]

The fact that he owns a gun and is willing to unload a clip into a laptop disturbs me...

[Hokahey]

The fact that he owns a gun and is willing to unload a clip into a laptop disturbs me...

Living in Missouri I don't know a lot of grown men that don't own guns. Most of them hunt. Some keep them for protection. All are good guys that wouldn't hurt a fly unless the meat was good.

Point being, that part doesn't bother me at all. And I'm sure the violence didn't bother the daughter either. I'm sure she's shot guns. Probably went hunting with dad.

[Hype]

I guess it's a pretty stark cultural difference. I'm not sure whether that means it's okay, or not.

[Larry B.]

The fact that he owns a gun and is willing to unload a clip into a laptop disturbs me...

I guess it's a pretty stark cultural difference. I'm not sure whether that means it's okay, or not.

[chaos]

I think he's putting himself on her level, thus teaching her nothing. He's doing exactly what she did when she was upset because he's upset. Like daughter like father.

If your discipline is consistent and swift there is no need to make it loud and on display. Humiliating someone accomplishes nothing except built up resentment.

The fact that he owns a gun and is willing to unload a clip into a laptop disturbs me...

Living in Missouri I don't know a lot of grown men that don't own guns. Most of them hunt. Some keep them for protection. All are good guys that wouldn't hurt a fly unless the meat was good.

Point being, that part doesn't bother me at all. And I'm sure the violence didn't bother the daughter either. I'm sure she's shot guns. Probably went hunting with dad.

Destroying the laptop, by whatever means, further emphasizes his immaturity (the whole gun thing bothers me - oh and one clip was on behalf of her mother ).